How many times have you critically taken time to scribble your life’s goals and vision? Sometimes the ability to accurately figure out what we want out of “life” can be daunting, especially if poorly expressed.
Our lives find more meaning and direction when we deliberately form an idea of how we transition from point A to point B. When we repeat these action points to ourselves, the path we desire to travel, it influences our reactions to life, helping us conquer confusing moments. These written aspirations, always serve to lead us back to where we began.
The woman in the mirror is a brilliant narrative of an anticipated future conceived in the mind-eyes of a teenage girl, Adedoyin Morenikeji Ademokun.
It is a descriptive visualization of the rise and fall of a teenage girl turned elderly woman whose life’s story symbolizes an illustrative approach to setting goals and the quality of life she would want to be remembered for.
The Woman in the mirror, you look so beautiful in your long white gown and your fuzzy hat has done your bald head well.. Look at you brightening up your sagged cheekbone with your smile. It’s so funny the way you squint your eyes to look at your grandchildren playing with your wrinkled skin. You really aged beautifully, didn’t you? Today you are the happiest woman on earth not just because your children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren celebrate you, but because of the towering achievement, particularly, the lives you affected in many positive ways.
Truly, the young shall grow. It was just like yesterday when you came into this world; young and innocent. As a child you were dependent. You were neither afraid of expressing your needs nor asking what you lacked. Your loving and caring parent made you see life the easy way. You wanted to be a Lawyer, a Doctor and Pilot but life taught you it was tougher than it sounded. You were not ashamed of what you had. You saw church as the most holy place, and loved partaking in every activity.
You wanted to grow up fast. You longed to be referred to, as a teenager. You were anxious to be a woman. But growing up was not as easy as you anticipated. It was more than the physical changes but also the emotional changes you thought you will never experience. Your first shock came when your friends wanted for you to feel terrible about things you could not change like why you are black or liked going to church. You didn’t see why you should be blamed for not being able to buy some material things, or be apologetic for your upbringing by a single-parent, after all you were satisfied with what you had-a loving mother who was also your father. You wanted everybody to be your friend and love you unconditionally and your heart ached from lack thereof.
Your life changed through “Determination” one word that allowed you to stay focused, gave you a clearer picture of where you wanted to be and truly resonated with you. It helped you pass your college final exams; which brought untold joy because it you made your mother proud.
You remember people who tried to deter you from participating in essay competitions – you easily concluded through that episode that there are three people in life: those who make life hard for you, those who stay during hard times and those who will not. This further strengthened your resolve to succeed.
How times fly. You couldn’t believe you had become a dentist, Dr. Adedoyin Ademokun, a globally acclaimed writer with multiple awards and laurels. The endless hours spent writing, reading manuscripts and running your clinic paid off. These are cherished moments you will never forget.
But everything didn’t turn out as planned. The first shock was when you heard about the death of your father. It was impossible to hate him for his absence and your tears were of regret, of not knowing him better while he lived. This experience lingered but thank God you were patient and found a loving husband who was also a loving father.
Woman in the mirror, do you remember how you felt when you got pregnant. The morning sickness didn’t stop the desire of holding your baby. On the morning the doctor handed over your baby boy, tears flowed from your eyes like rain drops in your heart. Today you have three beautiful children who are now parents and whose children are becoming parents.
As you grew so your mother grew older and weak. You still felt like a baby each time she wrapped her arms around you. Even your grandchildren adored her. Each time they saw her, they would get comfortable in her embrace which lightened up your faces. It scared you when she laid on her sick bed and held your hands to pray.
She was already advanced in age, and when the phone call finally came, your heart missed a bit and for that moment you felt lonely. You were overflowed with grief, no one had the power to make her stay. But you were consoled knowing your mother saw you succeed. You honoured her with a royal burial because to you she was the strongest king you have ever known.
But life is not fair; twenty years later death captured your husband. Everybody was scared for you and hid the news as long as they could. Eventually you knew and your children were there to support you. But you believe strongly that one day you will meet the people you love.
Now, everybody’s eyes are on you. The nurses will not let you out of their sight because they say; “you don’t have the strength”.
Today, I am an old woman because nature made it so. The body may have lost its figure, but inside this old body lives a young child of three; filled with lots of energy, a young girl of sixteen; filled with lots of ambitions and a young woman of thirty; filled with lots of achievements. People may not understand the smile on my face but one day they will get to. But, here and now, I am loving and living life, and to anyone who see me as an old woman, I say, take a look again because they need to see; a fighter, a winner and an achiever.